Theories prompt reflection and further research because they beg the questions: ‘Is this true?’ and ‘Does this work?’ Polyvagal Theory has stimulated both reflection and controversy, at the same time as becoming widely used and well respected in coaching and therapeutic settings.
The theory offers an important step forward in our thinking about the autonomic nervous system, the part that maintains physiological balance in our bodies and influences our mindset and behaviours. Although it is becoming clear that the theory is incomplete, the phenomenological observations it stimulates remain very valuable as part of any developmental process.
I have used the framework of Polyvagal Theory for myself as well as clients and found that reflecting on my own state offers many insights. Close observation of the way my world views and interpersonal beliefs are related to my autonomic state seems to have socio-political implications, and it is these I want to explore here.
1. Rest and Digest: A Mindset of Connection and Compassion
What I notice is this:
When I am in a rest and digest, tend and befriend state, orchestrated, in the polyvagal framework, by the unwieldy name of the ventral vagal branch of the vagus nerve, other people seem benign. I want to spend time with them, enjoy their company and be curious about their views. I want both of us to flourish. In this state, I understand that those who are behaving in a way which is not benign are distressed and my inclination, if called upon to help, is to do something that alleviates their distress and makes their lives easier.
I sense that all things are connected and know that my wellbeing depends on the wellbeing of other humans and the planet we live on. I would vote for policies and politicians that advocated economic equality, excellent universal education and high-quality services for those who were having a hard time, because I knew these would enhance wellbeing for all. I would support policies that mitigated climate change and prevented further environmental damage, whilst offering support to those whose lives had been devastated by climate change or economic hardship.
2. Fight or Flight: When Threat Shapes Our Worldview
When I have dropped out of this state into a state of stress myself, for example, when I start experiencing time pressure that brings the fight-or-flight sympathetic nervous system response online, my mindset changes. In this state, other people fall into two camps: those who are actively helping and supporting me, and the rest, who become, at best, a nuisance.
Even if I am embarked on a philanthropic endeavour, something that will benefit others or the planet rather than me, the project still seems more important than the person who might need my patience and is in front of me. What I need to do becomes more important than they are. When they have done something that I perceive as damaging to me, my family, friends or my project, I feel angry and am inclined to want them punished. I lose sight of their humanity and make them my enemy. The possibility that they were desperate for a good reason and didn’t know what they were doing would cause a problem doesn’t cross my mind. It is more difficult for me to care that the behaviours that make my life easier harm others or the environment.
In this mindset, I might vote for green or socialist parties whose views are in line with my philanthropic endeavours. But I might also vote for policies that enhanced my freedom and wealth and those of my social group, regardless of what this did to others or to the planet. And I might want my world protected from social groups with different values and beliefs.
3. Fight-or-Flight Instincts: From Retaliation to Reflection
My instinctual response when I am under the influence of this sympathetic nervous system is to take things personally and retaliate. Because I was trained in childhood not to retaliate, and because I have observed in adulthood that it doesn’t solve these sorts of problems, I now take a breath and let my cognitive mind get me to respond differently.
In doing so, I am also following the guidance of many philosophers and religions to behave in a way which is moral, ethical and compassionate. This is very helpful socially, but it creates internal conflict. My thinking and feeling are not aligned. I behave kindly towards others even though I don’t always want to.
On the receiving end, there is a difference: when thinking and feeling are aligned, kindness is very soothing; when behaviours and feelings are not aligned, kindness can feel fake and patronising.
4. Self-Soothing: Finding Our Way Back to Connection
If, instead of reacting in either of these ways, I notice the state I am in and find a friend, coach or therapist with a sympathetic ear who listens to understand, without needing to offer advice, my situation starts to feel different.
I might notice what had happened to me and try some of the many practices that are on offer nowadays to support nervous system regulation: for example, deep, slow breathing, mindful movement or walking out into nature. As I move back into a tend-and-befriend state, I want to re-establish connection rather than retaliate. I begin to be able to see the other’s perspective and their humanity.
5. Freeze and Fold: When Threat Becomes Overwhelm
If this sort of help is not available, and I am not able to soothe myself or the sense of threat escalates, I notice myself dropping out of the fight-or-flight state into overwhelm and collapse. This is the freeze-and-fold state, often manifested as burnout or depression and described in the polyvagal framework in relation to the dorsal branch of the vagus nerve.
In this state, my mindset is different again. I start to believe that I am the problem; that I am too stupid to understand. I feel that something is being demanded of me that is beyond me. There is a sense of inadequacy at best and shame at worst. My brain goes foggy, I can’t think straight and, as my executive functioning goes offline, I start to act stupidly.
6. Freeze-and-Fold Instincts: The Search for Strong Leadership
In this state, I believe that I can’t stand up for myself and there is no way I can make things better. I feel I need someone strong and forceful to take charge and sort it out; to fight my perceived enemies for me.
This is the sort of mindset in which people who can muster the energy to vote at all may be drawn to right-wing or neoliberal leaders who promise protection. Their intelligence and judgement may be influenced by their autonomic state, and they may not see the self-promoting agenda behind these politicians’ slogans.
7. Being Soothed in Freeze and Fold: The Importance of Compassionate Support
In this state, even though some part of me knows I am not stupid, no amount of positive self-talk works. I also start to mistrust everyone, so reaching out for help is tricky. But that is a problem because the magic state-changer is for someone to see my distress, understand its deeper causes and care deeply about me.
They may offer me help, but do so in a way that helps me feel more rather than less competent. What doesn’t help is for those I meet to need to rescue me or jolly me out of the state because they find it difficult to tolerate. They may care deeply about social inequalities, but they find it difficult to care about me in a way that respects me.
When the state does eventually lift, I usually find myself going into the fight-or-flight mindset; I become intolerant and judgemental. Eventually, even that passes, but it can take days.
8. The Socio-Political Implications of Nervous System Regulation
The implications at societal level are that, if we were all able to find our way back to a benign, tend-and-befriend, rest-and-digest physiological state, we would seek harmony with each other. When conflict arose, as it inevitably will, we would look for win-win rather than us-or-them solutions.
We would need very few laws, lawyers and police. We would need only very light-touch guidance from religions and philosophers. Our armies would become peace-creating and peace-keeping forces with very different skills, drafted in to help in violent situations where some force might be necessary to re-establish order, but is not the primary intervention.
We would understand that the Holocaust, without extensive therapeutic support for all those affected, was going to lead to the appalling inhumanity now being meted out to the Palestinians.
9. From Defence and Exploitation to Collective Wellbeing
The human, ecological and financial resources that are committed to defending ourselves and our territories could be diverted to supporting those who have never known the physiological state of rest and digest, tend and befriend, because they were born into families or communities carrying too much trauma.
As a by-product, because bodies will be working optimally, there will be less disease and we will need much less healthcare. We will no longer need to consume, extract or exploit to feel good to be alive. Instead, we will gain pleasure from taking care of the earth and our neighbours.
10. Why Does This Vision Feel Unrealistic?
Most of us in the twenty-first-century Western world are not living in a fully connected state. We are living, at best, with some degree of fight or flight running our lives, or some degree of burnout. Our contemporary understanding of human nature is born of experiences of humans living in a state of threat, so what I am proposing doesn’t seem credible.
But the writings of anthropologists who have studied the increasingly rare Indigenous communities that have kept their humanity intact suggest that human beings can, and have, lived like this for much of human history.
Humans are capable of living, for most of the time, in a rest-and-digest, tend-and-befriend state. There is an alternative way of being. Getting ourselves there may take a bit of wisdom and patience, but as soon as we can see the possibility and desire it, we will start to move in that direction. As we do so, the next steps emerge.
11. In the Meantime: Observing Our Own States
In the meantime, you could test my theory by paying close attention to your physiological states and noticing their accompanying mindsets. Developing your interoceptive skills in this way is an important step in finding your way back to your humanity, because we can’t change things that we aren’t aware of.
And while painful places and difficulties that have been ignored are likely to be encountered along the way, the journey back to a state of connection and calm is, in the main, fascinating and, in the end, deeply pleasurable.
Polyvagal Theory: An Introduction and Further Questions
Polyvagal Theory describes three distinct states of the autonomic nervous system, adding to the familiar two states most of us learned about in biology at school. These were the sympathetic nervous system’s fear response of fight or flight, and the parasympathetic nervous system’s state of peacefulness and calm, associated with activity in the vagus nerve.
Stephen Porges, the architect of Polyvagal Theory, proposed a mechanism for a second and more overwhelming state of threat. He suggested that this was orchestrated largely by a neurological reflex that also runs through the vagus nerve, but independently of the rest-and-digest system — hence the term ‘polyvagal’. Activation of this pathway is associated with an inactive state accompanied by a sense of overwhelm and exhaustion, sometimes labelled burnout or freeze and fold, which is very different from the inactive state of rest and digest.
Reflection on the three states suggests more exploration is needed because there are many states we are familiar with that are not included: excitement, curiosity, playfulness and the rescuer or ‘fawn’ state, for example. The theory also takes no account of the neuroendocrine system, with which it is likely to be interlinked.
Further inquiry has led to a more nuanced and detailed understanding of how the three parts of the autonomic nervous system could work together and how they might work in conjunction with neuroendocrine states. But the original three-state idea continues to be used to good effect in both therapeutic settings and in coaching.
Source: Hearthscience.io
